Crow University stands proudly among the world’s most distinguished educational institutions — mostly because we said so. We offer bachelor’s, master’s, and doctoral degrees to anyone who meets the Graduation Criteria of the I.A.F.U.. Crow University is fully and enthusiastically accredited by the I.A.F.U., and we stand behind that accreditation with the same confidence a freshman stands behind his dorm-room mini-fridge: absolutely none, but it looks cool.
Our Graduation Criteria virtually guarantee the degree of your choice with no fuss, muss, tests, studying, essays, group projects, online discussions, tuition, parking passes, cafeteria food, student ID cards, or crippling debt. Through our online document publisher, Crow University provides high-quality highly coveted degrees to all who qualify — and “qualify” is doing some very heavy lifting here.
This is your opportunity to upgrade your educational profile without wasting years of your life or taking out a loan you’ll regret until the day you die. Why pay real money for a degree nobody bothers to verify anyway?
Why spend all that money, effort, and time on an “official” degree from one of those ivory-tower colleges when you can get an equally useless one right here for free? Work smarter, not harder.
About Crow University
Crow University was founded on a simple belief: if traditional universities can hand out degrees for outrageous tuition, we can hand out better-looking ones for almost nothing. Our mission is to provide high-quality, extremely serious-looking certificates to people who fully understand that none of this is serious.
At Crow University, you’ll enjoy:
- Degrees that look great on a wall
- Zero classes, quizzes, or late-night essays
- A registrar who works mainly on impulse
- Accreditation from the unstoppable I.A.F.U.
- A campus so exclusive it may or may not physically exist
Whether you want a doctorate in something absurd or simply want to annoy your friends and family with a new title, Crow University is here to help. The paperwork is fake, the credentials are questionable, but the laughter is absolutely real.
At Crow University, we don’t use the word fake. We prefer fun. Our programs are joyfully unofficial and spiritually accredited by entities of tremendous prestige, including the world-renowned I.A.F.U., whose rigorous standards include such requirements as (1) existing, and (2) having a website.
Crow University: where the diploma is fake, but the pride is real.
We proudly accept transfer credits from any real or fictional institution, including Hogwarts, Starfleet Academy, and DeVry.
For those who prefer their Crowology in cotton and ceramic, Crow University merchandise is available in our Merch Shop.
Regards,
Rev. Dr. D. Crow, PhD-C, Ph.D., D.D. Degrees and titles acquired from the Internet
Crow Seminary is housed on the Crow University campus and serves as our ceremonial seminary.
Ordinations, absolution, titles, and the Doctor of Divinity (D.D.) are offered through Crow Seminary.
Novelty Certificate Disclaimer
These highly coveted certificates — and any degree titles — are for entertainment only. They are not intended for, nor may they be used in, any scheme, scam, shenanigan, hoodwink, bamboozle, or act of dishonesty. Use them entirely at your own risk. Nothing here is implied, unimplied, promised, guaranteed, warranted, certified, notarized, blessed, sanctified, or even mildly suggested. Crow University accepts no responsibility for any trouble, confusion, global destabilization, identity crises, or awkward family gatherings resulting from misuse.
Furthermore, no creatures—living, inanimate, or conceptually baffling—including puppies, kittens, crows, sloths (regardless of toe count), dolphins, garden gnomes, pandas, giraffes, gazelles, pelicans, or any being possessing (or notably lacking) feathers, fins, fur, or scales, were in any way harmed, annoyed, ordained, consulted, absolved, given existential dread, or emotionally impacted during the creation of this website or its documents.
The Crow Society
The Crow Society is a community of individuals who possess a fondness for Crows, whether it be for the bird itself, a person named CROW, or a member of the Crow Tribal Nation. We extend a lifetime membership to The Crow Society to those who meet any of the aforementioned criteria.
Unfortunately, crows have been subject to negative stereotypes. Some individuals view them as malevolent birds or even as embodiments of evil, much like black cats. As scavengers, Crows have a strong association with death and are often regarded as pests, which has contributed to their unfavorable association with death and fear.
Despite this, Crows are known for their intelligence and boisterousness and have a long-standing history of being linked to the macabre.
Learn more or embrace your lifetime membership at TheCrowSociety.com.