- No applications.
- No classes.
- No exams.
- No tuition.
- No student loans.
Pick a degree. Put your name on it. Enjoy the prestige you have absolutely not earned.
Some people call us a certificate mill.
That is simply not true.
We don't print the certificates.
We don't fill them out.
You do.
Pick Your Degree
A small sampling of prestigious academic achievements available to almost anyone with a browser.
Advanced training in sounding authoritative while saying very little.
Professional-level analysis of ideas nobody asked to have analyzed.
Foundational training in procedural confidence and strategic technicalities.
Advanced expertise in explaining things with absolute certainty.
Entry-level resistance to unnecessary flexibility.
Scholarly mastery of thinking extensively while accomplishing remarkably little.
For People Who Can Read
This one takes more than seven seconds. Proceed accordingly.
The “Who’s on First?” Case Has Been Reopened
Crow University investigators have reopened the long-dormant St. Louis Wolves case after recovered materials revealed roster irregularities, altered payroll records, and unresolved questions surrounding Lou Costello.
For more than eighty years the public asked: Who’s on first?
Crow University investigators are asking: Who took the money?
Follow the investigation from the reopening of the case through identity confusion, financial suspicion, and the final case file.
Start the Investigation →For People Who Want the Backstory
Yes, there is actual lore behind all of this.
About Crow University
Crow University was founded on a simple belief: if traditional universities can hand out degrees for outrageous tuition, we can let you create better-looking ones for absolutely nothing. Our mission is to provide high-quality, extremely serious-looking ceremonial certificates to people who fully understand that none of this is serious.
At Crow University, you’ll enjoy:
- Degrees that look great on a wall
- Zero classes, quizzes, or late-night essays
- A registrar who works mainly on impulse
- Recognition from the unstoppable I.A.F.U.
- A campus so exclusive it may or may not physically exist
Whether you want a doctorate in something absurd or simply want to annoy your friends and family with a new title, Crow University is here to help. The paperwork is fake, the credentials are questionable, but the laughter is absolutely real.
At Crow University, we don’t use the word fake. We prefer fun. Our programs are joyfully unofficial and spiritually accredited by entities of tremendous prestige, including the world-renowned I.A.F.U. , whose rigorous standards include such requirements as (1) existing, and (2) having a website.
Crow University: where the diploma is fake, but the pride is real.
We proudly accept transfer credits from any real or fictional
institution, including Hogwarts, Starfleet Academy, and DeVry.
Genuine Fake Testimonials: Read a few →
For those who prefer their Crowology in cotton and ceramic, Crow University merchandise is available in our Merch Shop .
Regards,
Rev. Dr. D. Crow, PhD-C, Ph.D., D.D.
Degrees and titles acquired from the Internet
This Part Is Surprisingly Serious
You were warned. There are paragraphs.
Crow Seminary is located on the Crow University campus. It is CrowU’s kissing cousin: closely related, independently questionable, and very much its own institution.
Ordinations, absolution, titles, and the Doctor of Divinity (D.D.) are offered through Crow Seminary.
Novelty Certificate Disclaimer
These highly coveted certificates — and any degree titles — are for entertainment only. They are not intended for, nor may they be used in, any scheme, scam, shenanigan, hoodwink, bamboozle, or act of dishonesty. Use them entirely at your own risk. Nothing here is implied, unimplied, promised, guaranteed, warranted, certified, notarized, blessed, sanctified, or even mildly suggested. Crow University accepts no responsibility for any trouble, confusion, global destabilization, identity crises, or awkward family gatherings resulting from misuse.
Furthermore, no creatures—living, inanimate, or conceptually baffling—including puppies, kittens, crows, sloths (regardless of toe count), dolphins, garden gnomes, pandas, giraffes, gazelles, pelicans, or any being possessing (or notably lacking) feathers, fins, fur, or scales, were in any way harmed, annoyed, ordained, consulted, absolved, given existential dread, or emotionally impacted during the creation of this website or its documents.
The Crow Society
The Crow Society is a community of individuals who possess a fondness for Crows, whether it be for the bird itself, a person named CROW, or a member of the Crow Tribal Nation. We extend a lifetime membership to The Crow Society to those who meet any of the aforementioned criteria.
Unfortunately, crows have been subject to negative stereotypes. Some individuals view them as malevolent birds or even as embodiments of evil, much like black cats. As scavengers, Crows have a strong association with death and are often regarded as pests, which has contributed to their unfavorable association with death and fear.
Despite this, Crows are known for their intelligence and boisterousness and have a long-standing history of being linked to the macabre.
Learn more or embrace your lifetime membership at TheCrowSociety.com .